Japanese

Frames

Word of (No) Mouth

Q. Hello Kitty is real cool but what where the ages that this character was made mainly for?

A. Although Hello Kitty was originally test-marketed to senior citizens (consumers over the age of 65), Sanrio quickly realized that their spunky (yet mouthless) spokeskitty had broad appeal to people of all ages. We personally believe that she has something to offer everyone, except possibly the French.

Q. Have a peek at Jorge Luis Borges book 'Labyrinths' ... esp. "Borges and I" ....

Hello-kitty seems to lack digits as well; preventing her from making use of sign language... no doubt part of the conspiracy... There is hope, hello-kitty can dance, she could learn Hula or another communcative dance form of the Pacific...

A. Hello-Kitty, in fact, uses Morse code to communicate with the outside world. You may have heard of the book Johnny Got His Gun, in which a soldier was so badly wounded that the only communication he had with the outside world was by tapping Morse code with his head.

That soldier was Hello-Kitty.

Q. Hello Kitty has no mouth. But Batz-Maru, the evil penguin with the spiky birth defects, does. Does this mean Sanrio is condemning Hello Kitty to Hell? Yes it does. Also, you are wrong; I hate cucumbers.

A. Tonight, and Tonight only you will witness the debut match of the lovely luchador, that Mexican master of mayhem! The wrestling world's ambassador of pain: MASTRANGELO!!!

Who is the masked MASTRANGELO? And why does he hate Don "The Cucumber" Savage? Could these two have a secret rivalry for the beautiful Chantel, Savage's comely manager and ex-wife? It's been known for some time that Savage and Chantel's marriage was destroyed by her love of another man. But the identity of that man was never revealed! Rumors have flown since that fateful match where Chantel's last minute distraction of the referee cost Savage the World Cage Champion Belt, but we've never known the name of the Lothario who stole Chantel's heart.

The answer to all our questions may lie behind the fierce masked visage of MASTRANGELO!! Chantel has said some pretty flattering things about this new face in the ring. Was it his god-like physique that turned her head? Or was it MASTRANGELO's degree in quantitative physics that won Chantel's admiration?

We may find the answers if Savage manages to catch MASTRANGELO in the Cucumber Claw and unmasks him. But Savage will have to watch out for MASTRANGELO's patented Strangle-O Head Lock. Be there, tonight!

Q. If Hello Kitty in a forest and has no mouth, does she still make a sound?

A. Camping is only permitted in the areas designated by the tent and campfire symbols. Restrooms are located every four campsites and showers are available in every second restroom.

Please help keep our forest clean. Pack out what you pack in. Do not leave garbage or food items in the campsites at night. The local wildlife, while not dangerous, could annoy and possibly maul you while you sleep.

Please keep to the path. The markers indicate the "rabies free" zone in the park. No rabies infected animals will cross the line as we have explained the rules to them carefully. Feel free to pet any animal on the path, but be wary of those lurking outside the perimeter.

Make your stay with us a memorable one, play safe. The hurricane fences are there for your protection. Please do not scale the fences as we cannot be held responsible for lacerations and electrocutions that occur above the forest floor. Remind your children, razor wire is sharp!

When it's time for you to leave us, please exit through the ranger station. Allow 3 to 4 hours for the decontamination process. Stand 4 to 5 feet away from the high pressure hoses to assure the safety of your ribs. Pregnant women and people with back problems are not allowed inside the decontamination chamber and must stay within the grounds of the ranger station. Electric collars will be provided at no cost to ensure their cooperation.

Thank you!

-Ranger Tim

Q. What is Hello Kitty's name in Spanish?

A. Hola Gatito.

Q. What is Hello Kitty in French??? Oh and I bet you don't know what Hello Kitty's birthday is??? Oh yes and I think you'll like this picture of Hello Kitty, she is skipping but it might not work so I thought I'd try! It's from one of those free clipart pages so, it's clean! ;o)

A. In French, "Hello Kitty" translates as "Bonjour Chat Petit". Of course, for a cat with no mouth, language is of only academic interest. Her birthday is November 1st. This makes her a Scorpio. She was born in 1974. This makes her a third grader. The picture came through fine, but watching Hello Kitty bounding along with her perky little nose flowing in the breeze only serves a bitter reminder of her tragic, tragic lack. For, though she is healthy and happy in all other respects...Hello Kitty has no mouth.

Q. I beg to differ with your translation.....Bonjour chat petit at the very least should be bonjour petit(e) chat(te) [depending on what gender hello kitty is] or better yet bonjour chaton (chaton=translation of the word "kitty") ( or 'minou' in Quebec).......At any rate keep up the good work

A.     You may beg. But you will never differ. Individuality is an illusion created by French philosophers over a strong cup of absinthe on a sunny day.

Oh yes, you may beg.

Remember that the penitent man will always know that he is saved, for on your knees, you are high in the lord's gaze. You may beg.

Whether it is the twisted words and soundless letters in a deaf woman's mouth, or the ink-smear signature of a man without hands, the message is still the same:

            Hello Kitty Has No Mouth

No matter how much you beg.

Q. tims, i have just found you(s). how perplexing and yet still within the framework of kitty philosophy (i think). do you have a new topic for people to rant about (oops) i mean talk about. has anyone discussed that really sad teddy bear she holds. what are his secrets i wonder. do you write people back or what - how does all this tims madness work.

A. Madness!?! Tims are not mad! We know how to capitalize. No e.e. cummings pretension for Tims! No! Not so! Definitely not!

And that bear... Oh, how that bear has taunted and defied me. Nights I lay in my lonely hut, curled in a fetal position on top of a pile of moldy leaves and wonder what, what!, could that bear be thinking. Was I not kind? Was I not generous?

What could that sad teddy bear, as you so naively call that Judas, have had against me to betray me so? I weep quietly, there on my leaves, and ask the cold, cold stars why my lot is such a trial.

But they answer not.

And no, we don't write people back.

Q. I read that Hello Kitty has no mouth because she would  speak in a language. Sanrio felt that Hello Kitty should be international appealing. If she doesn't speak in a specific language then no one will feel ostracized. 

She is meant to be an ambassador to all. Having the same following in the US as she has in Japan or India. Of course this kind of contradicts why my Pom Pom Purin glasses have only Kanji on them. Hmmmmm...

A. Having glasses of Pom Pom Purin can really start your morning out right! A tall, cool glass of fresh squeezed Pom Pom Purin, with a multi-vitamin and three bowls of Fibo-tastic Wheat-like Flakes make for a complete breakfast. Should you ever run out of the deliciously flavored Pom Pom Purin juice, make sure to scream "Pom Pom! Pom Pom Purin!!!!!" at the top of your lungs until mom buys you more.

Kids of all ages love their glasses of Pom Pom Purin. Do you?

(This message brought to you by Tims Always Breakfast Like Emperors (T.A.B.L.E.) in association with the American Heart and Lung and Kawaii Association)

Q. Here is the intellectual approach as to why hello kitty has no mouth......maybe it is because she was created by sadistic Japanese men who think a woman should be seen and not heard!

A.

It is with great pleasure that we announce that you are the winner of our contest. As the respondent with the most correctly spelled words, you win the major award as decided by our judges (Tim and Tim, esq.). Please make sure that you have enough space in the garage before delivery of this prize. Make sure that local laws and county ordinances are not contravened by the fantabulous gift to you, our winner.

When cleaning out that space in your garage, make certain that the walls are thoroughly sound-proofed as the prize usually bothers the neighbors. Or the smell. Yes, the smell can sometimes become...overpowering is really the only way to describe it.

What? Oh yes, I was getting to that, Tim says to make sure that you do NOT make any sudden moves around the major award (if in fact any shipping company will send it out). Tim once just turned around real fast and...well, we don't want to bring it up.

And...what? Oh dear... Are you sure?... Ok, hey, listen, that award? It, uh, it kind of got away from us, so we have to go. If we catch it again, it's all yours.

Q. she's cute enough without it and a mouth would make the whole face off balance, causing Hello Kitty to be unable to smell or see out of one eye...the HORROR! or MAYBE her 'nose' is her 'mouth' and so in all reality she doesnt have a 'nose' or maybe her 'nose' and 'mouth' are one in the same!!!! confusing? I think so

A. You can keep your Horror, and Confusion and Blindness and Unbalanced Faces and your Nosemouths.

Tim hates you and your stupid goth music, your obsession with spiderwebs, your clove cigarettes. And shut up about Alison Moyet already. Yaz, Yaz, Yaz. As if. So 1982. You remind him of this girl he used to date. Well, wanted to date. Was rejected by her actually. Small wonder he's bitter.

Tim overreacts in these situations, but he does have a point. Take your talk of kitty disfigurement to the evil cat torturing technicians at Sanrio--we're taking our message to the people.

A. Hello Kitty has no nose, but she must sneeze. That is why her head is so big.
Hello Kitty has no nose, but she always stops to smell the flowers.
Hello Kitty has no nose, which is why she doesn't wear glasses.
Hello Kitty has no nose, but she buys Kleenex(TM) in bulk.
Hello Kitty has no nose, so where has all the porridge gone?
Hello Kitty has no nose, but she knows the sweet smell of victory.

Q. "Hello Kitty has no nose? How does she smell?"

A. "Awful!"

Q. Not only does hello kitty not have a mouth (wierd) but have you noticed that her name is hello!!??

As in Miss H. Kitty

A. Au contraire!

"Hello" is a nickname--we say "Hello Kitty" just as we would say "Duke Ellington" or "President Bush". You see, just as "Hi" is a shortened form of "Hello" in English, the Japanese word "Hi" (meaning "Yes") is a shortened form of the Japanese word "Hello" (which means "You know it, baby!").

Anyway, this kind of naming is like calling the fat kid "Tiny" or your midget friend "Stretch" because, having no mouth, "Hello" is one thing Hello Kitty will never say to you. That, and "Pork Sandwich".

What's her real name you ask then? Only Sanrio knows. And Tim. But he won't tell me, and if you wanted to know so bad, why didn't you ask him?

Q. I like yer hello kitty page. I too have often pondered the mouth issue. my kitty has a mouth. she uses it to eat bugs and kitty chow. which makes me wonder why Purina hasn't done something about this mouth they could be feeding. then i begin to wonder why every riot grrl in the states has picked this lovely. she has no mouth, can she be a feminist? can she start a band and put out a 7inch? can she sing along with Hole? does she have a telephone? why does she adorn my travel toothbrush when she has no mouth herself? is she concerned that i might have to have another root canal? i realize that most kitties keep their mouths shut, but to not have one at all ... well it keeps me awake at night.

thank you for the page. and i guess kitty never had braces. and if Koshka is Russian for kitten then how to say hello. i only know how to say good-bye

A. Your thoughts, prayers, and meditations are welcome to us Tims.

One point, however, disturbs us greatly. Can Hello Kitty sing along to Hole?

This question can only be treated as a Koan. A question to send us into a meditative state (or into a screaming bugglies with little whippy things beat, beat, beating on the noggin).

How can HK sing with no mouth? If she tried to sing to Hole, would that be possible since a mouth is a hole and to sing Hole she may create a mouth with which to sing?

Perplexing.

Truly.

Q. I love Hello Kitty. I have always been disturbed by her lack of mouth. I think it's political.....I mean she is a girl and should not be heard just look pretty. Despite Sanrio's attempt to keep us girls down she is the most popular character. Perhaps it is part of some twisted mind control plot. I just don't know. Recently something even more disturbing has happened they have Hello Kitty in a mermaid costume. Doesn't anyone see how sick this is? Just wondering. One could argue though that without a mouth she really is in no danger of hurting herself. There is something political in this one too. Long live Hello Kitty!!!!

A. Hello Kitty a mermaid?

Frankly we cannot spend the time believing you. That would necessitate the creation of another web-site: Hello Kitty Has No Legs. And Tim just doesn't have the energy (despite the little red pills Tim keeps sneaking into Tim's coffee).

If Hello Kitty were a mermaid then she would be Hello Mermaid, wouldn't she? You see, logic destroys that little aberration.

Also, you're right, Hello Kitty IS an uppity female. Sanrio isn't really big on feminism and thought it best to silence HK so she had no choice but to just look pretty. (Note: Hello Kitty wears overalls. Andrea Dworkin wears overalls. Coincidence? Tims think not!)

(Note: Hello Kitty IS pretty. Andrea Dworkin... well, anyway...)

We thank you for your kind concern and urge you to remember, Hello Kitty has no mouth.

Q. My name is Iva and I live in Vienna, Austria. I am studying japanese and now I have to write a paper about Hello Kitty, the history, why it has such a big success in Japan, etc. Do you have some information that you could send me?

A. Actually, Tims and I live in Vienna as well. Only you've probably never heard of the part of Vienna we live in. It's a small neighborhood in an unused section of the city. We have no utilities and can only sneak out during the deepest part of the night to steal network time in order to check our e-mail. If you see a man in a grubby Armani digging through an ash-bin and then suddenly screaming in triumph as he pulls a few free minutes on aol out of the rancid remains of somebody's uneaten Waldorf salad then it's probably Tim.

This existence is fraught with troubles and struggle, but the rewards are great. We get to live in Vienna, for one thing. We get to dig through ash-bins as well (which, to tell the truth, Tim likes, but Tim doesn't see as much of a reward).

Mainly the living in Vienna is what we consider our greatest asset. The sparkling beaches, miles upon miles of pristine, powder-fine sand, are like an Endless Summer dream. Being avid surfers, Tim and Tim are always happy. The smiles on their faces stretch from ear to ear as they shoot the curl along the Viennese coastline, enjoying the warm Gulf waters that surround and cradle them like a mother's arms. Tim, meanwhile, searches the beach-side ash-bins for medical waste and corn dogs.

I hope that answers your questions.

Q. When I watched the cartoon about Hello Kitty, I saw him/her has a mouth. Have you noticed it?

A. When the cartoon was in the early stages of production, test audiences reacted poorly to Hello Kitty's manner of speaking without a mouth; the similarity to Garfield, who never moved his mouth when speaking, was enough to make many viewers ill. So, for the benefit of the television-viewing public, Sanrio called in expert animators from Disney to simulate the appearance of a mouth. As your comment testifies, the effort was a complete success.

Nevertheless, Hello Kitty has no mouth.

Q. I went into a Sanrio store and drew mouths onto as many Hello Kitty figures as I could. I stood there in the store, with eyes closed and began to hear her voice. She had been freed. It echoed as the manager of the store made me buy all the merchandise he claimed that I defaced.

But by God, I heard her. I heard her. Soft and sweet. Playfully it echoed...it echoed.

A. Tims were skeptical about your mouth drawing assertions, you bet they were. Tim went so far as to draw a humorous caricature of Mel-the short order cook from Alice (the best television show in the history of the best of television's best shows ih history, ever). The trauma he suffered when li'l Mel began to speak (God I love that show) made Tim urinate in his new pair of knee breeches he was laughing so very hard, so very hard indeed. I never saw someone laugh that hard since my aunt Flo told my dad to kiss her grits. Wait, that was on Alice--that show was so sweet. Anyway, don't you think it's kind of weird to be wearing knee breeches in this day and age? I certainly do.

Q. i love hello kitty

A. Of course you love Hello Kitty. Hey, who doesn't? And yet... Hello Kitty has no mouth, and this is an injustice we must all condemn. Please, if you truly love Hello Kitty, help to end her oral deprivation.

Q. why does hello kitty have no mouth? plus, why does everyone think you are dissing hello kitty? you are just telling the truth. i have been a fan of hello kitty for many years, but have always wondered what the sanrio company is trying to keep hello kitty from saying. i think that all she wants to say is that we are all special in our own way, is the sanrio company part of a conspiracy to keep hate and prejudice alive? hello kitty is beautiful!

A. Why *does* Hello Kitty have no mouth? This is truly the crux of the problem. Unfortunately, only Sanrio and Hello Kitty herself know the answer, and Sanrio isn't talking either. A number of theories have been advanced:

First, and most common, the Sanrio Conspiracy. There is something which Hello Kitty knows and which Sanrio doesn't want out. She was therefore deprived of her mouth, and kept constantly in the public spotlight so that she would have no opportunity to do anything about it. A variant on this theory is that the fame is Sanrio's way of buying her off.

Secondly, the Unfortunate Mutation theory. Hello Kitty was once a normal kitten, but then something happened...something horrible...and so she was mutated into a creature with a huge head and no mouth. This is supported by the fact that Spiderman, who was turned into a super-powered mutant by a radioactive spider bite, has no visible mouth either. The nature of the accident which could have caused this is shrouded in mystery and uncertainty.

Thirdly, the Unwitting Pawn theory. This is very similar to the first theory in that it casts Sanrio as a ruthless de-mouther of cats. In this theory, Hello Kitty has no special secrets to be protected, but Sanrio is merely using her to satisfy its sadistic needs for power and silence.

We still do not know for sure which of these theories, if any, are the truth. All we know for sure is that Hello Kitty has no mouth....

Q. I was showing my younger brother your Hello Kitty Has No Mouth site and he'd like me to suggest this:

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she still gives great head.

Hope you can use it, thanx! :)

A. Tims regret to request that you inform your brother that we feel his idea, while admittedly ginchy, is nevertheless too much a restatement of another koan we already have on the website, "Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's an avid philatelist". Litte brother cry. Tims heart are not moved. Such is the life of a celebrity.

However, Tim says that he's still up for being your boyfriend, but lay off the hickies, okay? Tims' wife is getting suspicious.

Read more about this site, read our fan mail, ponder the many paths to enlightenment, or go to The Wrong Page.

If you have found this site informative, we would also recommend 101 Things to do with a dead Totoro .

I am the Lorax
I speak for Hello Kitty,
For Hello Kitty has no mouth.

These pages are Copyright 1998-2001 by their respective authors (i.e., the various Tims). If you do wish to copy or link the content of these pages, please include a link to http://www.queeg.com/hellokitty/ so that credit may be given as due.